Monthly Archive for September, 2005

Why I’m a Harry Potter die-hard?

Published on September 28, 2005 in Harry Potter. 5 Comments

Saw this at a website, and I thought… how true, how true. My comments and addenda in blue

  1. You’ve learned to correctly pronounce Hermione. -That’s what I did first after I finished Philosopher’s stone back in 90′s.
  2. You own all the books and movies. – Yes. I do own all six books plus the two companion books plus all three movie DVDs plus the second and third HP games by EA sports.
  3. You bought the book at midnight, you were done by 2:30 – Well! not exactly, I bought it at around 9 am on the release date, because the shops opened only then in Bangalore. Stood in a queue. Took an auto back home (Rs. 50) Finished reading the book by 3 pm that day.
  4. When someone points a stick at you, you shout ‘Expelliarmus!’ – No. But I have shouted “Lumos” several times when there was an electricity cut.
  5. You can accurately describe a Blast-Ended Skrewt. – Yes I can. Because I’m a Hogwarts student in mind.
  6. You were completely devastated (cried for days) by the end of book 6. – I was devastated. I didn’t cry, because “Boys don’t cry”. But I didn’t believe what I read. I reread those pages over and over again; thinking that there was something wrong. Even after reading the book several times, I was trying to make up weird theories wherein Dumbledore will come back, at least as a ghost or portrait.
  7. Running into brick wall trying to find platform 9 3/4 at King’s Cross Station – I wish I’d been there!
  8. You’re taking a Latin class just so you can come up with your own spells – Not a bad idea!
  9. Posted online review of latest book two hours after it went on sale – No! Being a fan, I didn’t want to spoil it for other fans.
  10. You end all sentences with “you muggle” – No. But I sure find myself more comfortable in the company of wizards and witches.
  11. You have successfully used owl post. – I don’t like owls. I like cats.
  12. You rave on and on about the great game of Quidditch. – You won’t believe me if I say I used to travel on broomsticks from the time I was in kindergarten. Yeah! My favorite game at that age was to hold a broomstick between my knees and running around singing a song. I don’t remember that song though! :(
  13. odd shaped scar on forehead from self inflicted wound - I have seriously considered doing this several times. But I was afraid =)
  14. You take an active interest in the characters’ love lives/futures. – Yes I dream about that a lot.
  15. When people say Harry Potter is dumb, you try to use the “killing curse” – Any doubt? I really get annoyed when people say Harry Potter is kids’ stuff. I refused to give HBP to my cousin when he asked it for reading because he once had said it was kids’ stuff. I even quipped “You are an adult, ain’t you? why do you want to read kids’ stories then?”
  16. You scream about the injustices of enslaved house-elves. – I’m not as mad as Hermione.
  17. You grinned at the kid at the queue on release date – Yes! Lotsa ppl were noticing me because I was wearing a custom printed HBP T-shirt on that day. A few ppl even came to me asking where I bought that T-shirt, because their kids were pestering them.
  18. You refuse to say Voldemort and instead refer to him as the Dark Lord. – No I call him Voldemort. Fear of a name increases the fear of the thing itself.
  19. Installed covert surveillance at JK Rowling’s house to get scoop on next book – I want to keep her at gun point and making her write more series on the book. :) Just kidding Jo, I love and rever you!
  20. You have tried every flavor of Bertie Botts currently available – I had bought 2 packets of Bertie Botts from US. And shared it with witches and wizards. I got earwax. Never got Vomit. (Not that I want to taste it! :D ) Too bad it’s not available in India.
  21. You have untamed jet-black hair. – My original hair color is Jet-black; I’ve never dyed. And my hair sure is untidy; but not as untameable as Harry’s
  22. Look, for the tenth time, “flying” is not available on ANY of our car models – I’d prefer flying on a broomstick
  23. Spend hours by the window waiting for message from Hedwig – Not Hedwig! But owl from Hogwarts saying I’ve been selected into Hogwarts.
  24. Avada Kedavra you bumhole! – Don’t you remember? I’m the good guy!
  25. You refuse to eat anything other than chocolate frogs. – I’m not much of a chocolate-liking guy. I have made several snacks like Pumpkin juice, Treacle Tart, Pumpkin pasties and butterbeer at home.

Some of my custom facts to add to this:

  1. I have made a Harry Potter fanfic story which I’ve never shared with anybody. It’s a secret.
  2. How many times have I read and reread the books? Can’t say. Because I lost count :D
  3. One of my blogger friends landed in Scotland only last week, and I’ve already started bugging her to visit and send snaps of the movie locations, Hogwarts express and all.
  4. Of course, visiting England, King’s cross, Hogwarts Express, Edinburgh castle etc are my life ambitions. :-)

The Ridiculous Story

Published on September 16, 2005 in Stories. 1 Comment

This is a story I cooked up during one HR induction session in Infy. Of course, I’ve added some more details now. You may like it. You may hate it. It might make you go gaga about me. You may waste your valuable minutes on it. You have been warned.

I wanted to go on search of the Philosopher’s Stone. Just because I was curious, you know! Some fool told me it was with an alchemist.

I chuckled. Lots of al’s in Chemistry. Alchemist, alloy, allotrope, aldehyde. I went to Arabia in search of the alchemist. I found out that what I was looking for was not an alchemist; I was looking for an answer. I found out that the alchemist was not a person; it was a thing, some sort of cup. You may thing this is exactly opposite to the explanation of “Holy Grail” in “The Da Vinci Code”. I further found out that the answer was waiting in the Great wall of China.

I stole a Harley Davidson from Sheikh Yasim Khalid Al Mubarak Mahdani and rode towards China. It was a 20 mile long, single track plush ride with all you ever wanted on a ride; a long trenchcoat, a cool pair of sunglasses, (like the one Neo wears in The Matrix) Nitrous Boosters, booze and Guns…Lots of Guns. And some things which I didn’t want; I’ll mention them later.

Anyway, I was riding. I could not resist doing a “Superman” on the edge of Himalayan peaks (If you don’t know what “Superman” is, go watch X-games Dirt rides) and I fell on my ass. My “slick” slick tires are not worth crap on wet slippery surfaces of the Himalayas. I had thought “I’m dealing with a 1200cc rocket engined bike. I will just ride over it.” So I fell. Luckily it didn’t even hurt me because I had a nutter behind me who was downright pain in the ass; much bigger than the current pain in the ass.

I guzzled a bottle of beer. I figured if I was boozing it up, I might as well do it proper, so I drank further. I also had a block of Frag, the pungent cheese from Liverpool, so I gobbled up that too.

I rode for 3 more hours. I reached Great Wall. There I saw David Copperfield The Magician walking through the 20 foot thick wall there. Man…The booze was doing its job. Nobody can walk through a stone wall.

I felt dizzy. It was blurring. Then it was black.

I woke up at a Shaolin monastery. A monk was sitting near me. He said, “Yo dude! Came in search of philosopher’s stone in China? Does not exist. A fly doesn’t buzz past China without the Shaolin monks knowing it. Now scoot back to your place. You’ll find your friggin’ answer there.

I returned broken-hearted. I passed through a bamboo forest when I felt a sense of deja vu. A black cat just crossed the road. And a similar one crossed exactly like the first one. At the same time, I felt my head grow heavy. I thought, “Funny!”

I went on. I rounded a corner and there was a babe taking a rest on the side of the groomed singletrack previously mentioned. I pulled over and offered her a drink, she of course accepted. It turned out she was a pro hacker, and happened to know the whereabouts of the alchemist.

Then we went to the 5 mile long downhill segment which is a 75 degree slope. When we reached the valley, she suddenly jumped from the back of my bike. She went high up in the air. Everything was slowing down. She was going up slowly. She did a couple of somersaults at 100ft height and came back down. She landed smoothly as a cat, one leg stretched to her side.

She said, “This…Something is wrong with this…”
I said, “What the…”
Then it suddenly happened.
A giant panda jumped in front of me. It appeared that he came straight from my head. He jumped, held his skin near his adam’s apple with his right hand and shook his head twice; as if he was adjusting his tie. Wait a minute. He looked exactly like an agent. Black body looking like a black 3-piece suit. White face. And black eyes looking like a pair of cool sunglasses.

He said, “So you want the stone and the cup Mr. Anderson? What are you gonna do now? Hear the sound of inevitability???”

I replied, “I’m not Anderson, you Bunder son”. He just nodded curtly as if he was bowing before a fight.

In one smooth motion, I took my Dual Desert Eagles and started firing at him. But he kept on dodging them all. At last, I ran out of clips. I took a MP5 and started firing. He dodged them also. Then I took a Gatling gun. The rate of fire is too high for him to dodge, I thought. But he, well, dodged them as well. I threw my guns away and cried, “Trinity…Help…”, because I didn’t know the name of the dame and this was turning out to be exactly like Matrix.

The panda, as if reading my mind, started…

Why worry about the name of the dame,
When you still don’t know the name of the game,
You are lame coz you can’t take aim,
The guns, you can’t blame, it will be a big shame,
Why go after the dame who came,
When I am there, who’s so tame,
You’ll get it all the same,
And ‘t will be your claim to fame.

Then, without warning, he jumped on me. He clutched me tight however I tried to get rid of him. Even now he’s clutching me from my side. I say, “You’re not a Koala, you’re a Panda, Goddamnit!!”
Oh dear!!!

What happened to the quest of the stone??

Away went broken, the dame
And as she went, she proclaimed,
I will avenge you, O my flame!
The stone she found is now critically acclaimed!!
I lost the stone and the fame and the dame,
And I got an idiot who says he’s tame.

Big Deal

Published on September 8, 2005 in Life etc. and Stories. 4 Comments

I think…I marvel…about going out tomorrow.
Tomorrow is the day of joy; a day when I don’t need to run away from my work; because it has let me free. I walk comfortably…thinking…marvelling at the beautiful day that calls me.

I call her. I ask her out for a movie.
She denies. She slams the door. I feel…weird. No pain. I recall my strangeness in perception and behavior. I recall that I seldom understand people; and, vice versa, people seldom understand me. I imagine I just made up that slamming-the-door story. She really has some pressing work. I slap myself in the face. I feel disappointed that she’s not there. But I really want to watch that movie. Big deal if she’s not with me.

I call them one by one. Some don’t pick up the phone. I think, “What the *BEEP*!!” I smile because I realise how my vocabulary changed from my first call to the present one. I am a man with two faces. Everybody is!
Those who pick up the phone…well…they answer. Some say they have seen the movie. Others say it is a load of shit.

Nobody is with me. I feel like I have fallen into oblivion. I recover. I make up my mind. I will prove that I can be a solitary eagle. I decide to go alone. Big deal if they’re not with me.

I reach there. I see myself smack in the middle of an ocean; an ocean of humans. I find it rather weird. I wonder why. I have been in the same place under the same situation for the umpteenth time now. I spin around, again without a particular reason. I see colors…and happiness. Couples walking past holding hands, toddlers trotting around, their parents running after them, men chit-chatting in groups, women dressed in lovely clothes. Everybody is looking relaxed, talking and laughing loudly, as if there is no tomorrow for them to worry about. The entire place is effusing joy and din.

I see the guys. They say Hi. I return the wishes. They ask why I’m alone. I smirk. I say I wanted to be alone. LIAR… Somebody just says that from behind me. I turn around. Nobody seems to be there.

I enter the cinema. I don’t watch the movie. I look around. Everybody is enjoying. I feel bad. I curb my anger and sorrow and shout, “BIG DEAL”. Everybody looks at me. I feel unabashed. Big deal!

I get out. I lean against the grill to look down. Why is she not with me? Why have they abandoned me? Tears start coming in my eyes. I feel dizzy. I start falling…I keep on falling. It seems to be a lifetime. I pray to God to make my last moments painless. And painless it is. It seems like I fall on a bed of feathers. Then some divine touch on my chest. Followed by a drop of water that scorches my skin.

I wake up startled. I see her weeping beside me. I look around. I am in a hospital room. I try to get up. I can’t. I hold her hand. She looks up and smiles in the midst of tears.
“Your friends brought you here. You’ll be alright”, she says.
I force a false smile to her; a smile which could not cover guilt; guilt of misunderstanding her and them again…

I wonder, “Who invented the term “Big deal” anyway?”

Strange!!

Published on September 6, 2005 in Life etc. and Weird things. 7 Comments

I haven’t blogged for some days now. Looks like the frequency is gonna hit an all time low once I get into my project. Not that it’s too hectic. But it IS somewhat hectic.

Now for the title. Strange was the feeling I had after I left Trivandrum on Friday. First thing, I was feeling sad and happy at the same time.
What the hell! Am I crazy or what? How can I feel two emotions at the same time? I came to this conclusion when two ppl asked me two questions.
Kishore asked me, “How’re u feeling now? Maone! (An interjection in Mallu) Last day in Infy!Excited about joining Motorola next week?”
I thought, “Of course I am.”
Ravi then said something about a final farewell treat. (I had to bear the expenses, of course)
Then suddenly Teena asked me, “Aren’t you sad you are leaving us?”
I realised that the curious feeling in my mind was that of sorrow because I was parting with my friends. The entire group of kidus and kidangals.
My mind browsed through my…our life in Infy Pune and then the reunion in Bangalore, like a careless hand flipping through the pages of a book.
I realised…that the 1 year friendship which blossomed during Infy training in Pune was worth more than the 5 year-old one with my batchmates.
I didn’t know why. But I knew it was there.
Life’s like that. You meet several people, good ones and bad ones. They play a major role in the drama called your life. They affect the paths you take. But nevertheless, your journey is solitary.

The second instance of strangeness came on my way to Bangalore from home. I kept on waking up several times in the stupid bus. (I din’t get a train ticket from home to Bangalore) I decided to stay awake when I passed in front of Infosys– my source of bread for the last one year. Nostalgic? Nah! I felt indifferent. I couldn’t believe myself. Indifference?? Why I felt that, I don’t know!
Back at home, I saw a shabby room in the place of what would have been an almost neat room (except for my books lying here and there). Still, I felt indifferent towards the guilty! Indifference in the place of towering rage. (That’s what usually happens) This, of course, was a welcome change in my attitude.

Evening was the time of anxiety.
Oh my God! I had to find a new apartment.
Oh my God! I had to get a decent car. Whether to go for a new one or a used one??
Oh my God! I had to find some gift for Geeta chechi’s baby. What could you possibly buy for a 28 day old??

OhmygodOhmygodOhmygod!!

PS: If any one has any tips for the last anxiety, pls help me!!