The knot before the knot

Too many drafts of late. I’m never finding enough time to finish those and post them here. Sigh!

I went to Palakkad taking a week off last week. Needless to say, I found myself in trouble again. This knotty situation was all about “the knot”.
The knot is a physical tying of a knot which they say is metaphor for the knot or binding of the lives of two people, the man and his wife (For feminists, the woman and her poor “Mr. bechara” husband), but it actually is a rather knotty problem — from then on, you need to have a lot of discipline and responsibilities. So, I reached my home on the fine morning of Friday, a bit soaked in the drizzle. I had my morning chores, which I couldn’t finish off in the train. Then I had my breakfast with my mother. It was then that the lightning struck from the skies, right on to my head. My mom said some distant relative had come with a marriage proposal of some distant relative of hers. So it was twice the distance!
The conversation went like this:
Mother: I’ve started checking your horoscope. It is very difficult to find a girl from our community and with good family background, and for you two to like each other.
Me: NO! No No No… Don’t start it.
Mother: You are 24 years old.
Me: You know, it is good to hear someone say I’m getting old, for a change. But not in this matter.
Mother: I’m not asking you to marry immediately. It will take about a year to find the right girl…
Me: I have aspirations right now; you know that. I want to study further. I don’t want to marry until I’m 27-28.
Mother(As if she didn’t hear what I said): …then you can get engaged and wait for another year if you want.
Me: You can do whatever you want with the horoscope. But I will reject it outright if you show me some alliance before I’m 27.
Mother: As a matter of fact, there is a proposal now.
Me: WHAT?
Mother: You know Annam (She was the distant relative), don’t you? I’d met her in Chelakkara when she asked me if I started looking for alliances. I just nodded. Yesterday, she met your aunt and complained to her that I was not interested in the alliance.
Me: Great! So now everyone knows there is a proposal coming in!
Mother: Look, In this case we don’t have to worry about the family. They are known ones. We just have to match the horoscopes, and then it’s up to you two to talk and decide if you like each other.
Me: I don’t want to get married now.
Mother: Don’t worry. I won’t ask you to get married soon.
Me: I don’t want to get married now.
Mother: You can get engaged if you like each other and then wait for a year.
Me: Sigh! I don’t want to get married now.

I went to my grandmother’s house. We had the first death anniversary rituals of my grandfather. It got over by noon.

When the Vadhyar (the priest who presides over the ritual) was having his lunch, he asked for more rice, “Koncham annam kondu vaango”(“Annam” also means rice). On hearing the word “Annam” I nervously looked around. I saw an evil grin on my aunt’s face as she looked at me. After having a heavy lunch, it was time for a post-lunch family gathering. My mother’s siblings and their family were present. My uncle and family had come from US.

I somehow always liked small gatherings like this. I always enjoyed talking to my aunt because she was the only person who was more talkative than me.

So there I was, tired after gobbling up lots of food. When I saw the evil grin in my aunt’s face again, I sensed it was coming.

Aunt: I heard you are getting married.
Me: O really? I didn’t hear any such news.
Aunt: It’s about time you got married.
Me: No. I’m only 24.
Aunt: It is good for you. You won’t have to struggle with bachelor life anymore.
Me: That is true, but I’m just not ready.
Aunt: Come on. She is a very nice girl. And it is our family.
Me: Yeah, right. Something like my grandma’s cousin’s son-in-law’s sister’s daughter is family. Besides, you haven’t even seen her to say she is a nice girl.
Aunt: So we will be back in India again in an year.
Me: Shut up, okay? What the hell is this pulling-legs for?
Aunt: Just some after-lunch entertainment.
Me: Right. I’M THE VICTIM.

After some emotional blackmail (I finally got my chance to get even with my mother), my mom agreed that she will just match our horoscopes for the sake of being courteous with her “distant relative”.
I was so relieved on having escaped from the knot (for the time being) when another less lethal issue came. This too was about “tying the knot”.
My brother came to me asking me to teach him how to tie a tie.
I went on, “Watch carefully. The perfect Windsor is an art…”